October Horoscope ‘80s Style
Totally fun, and in no way a scientific, horoscope!
Virgo
You’re loyal which sometimes can cause heartbreak when a co-worker, friend or lover is not as truthful. Sometimes forgiveness is the best solution. Still stewing over your childhood BFF rolling away with your roller skates? Time to let that sh*t go and buy yourself a new pair. Why not?
Song: “Xanadu” (Olivia Newton-John)
Libra
It’s a tough time to be of the social mind, as we’re all hiding away in our homes. Time to get creative. Maybe there’s more to Zoom that you can do to reach out and spread your loveliness. Pretend it’s back in the day when you had to edit your VHS tape on a top loading player.
Song: “Take On Me” (a-ha)
Scorpio
Your resourcefulness is needed now more than ever. But do what fulfills you as well as helps others. Put on an old tune, one that gets you inspired and reach for that inner badass.
Song: “Jump” (Van Halen) or if you’re feeling extra, “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap” (AC/DC) but don’t really do those deeds dirt cheap, just lightly cheap.
Sagittarius
It’s hard to be optimistic right now, even though you’re trying. You want to aim your bright pink arrow, or is it purple with glitter arrow, at your hopes and dreams and you keep missing. Hang in there, hot stuff. Your bullseye is coming soon.
Song: “All Fired Up” (Pat Benatar)
Capricorn
Normally able to manage your emotions and put it in check but who the f*** can blame you if you can’t during a f***ing pandemic, for f***s sake. (You can tell, I’m not a Capricorn) Express yourself, even if it means not being the person others label you to be.
Song: “Rock the Casbah” (The Clash)
Aquarius
Humanitarian of heart, you see what is going on in the world and you want to help. Then do! There are a number of from-the-safety-of-quarantine things you can do to fulfill your inner Florence Nightingale. Need help? Reach out to a Libra, they’re anxious to get active. Teamwork!
Song: “Let’s Work” (Prince)
Pisces
The two fishes have you in two different worlds and you’re not sure how to deal with it. In Pac Man when you gobble a power up dot do you go after the blue ghosts or try to advance your way in the game by eating more smaller dots? That’s how you should approach October.
Song: “Pac Man Fever.” Just kidding, we wouldn’t do that to you. “Hungry Like the Wolf” (Duran Duran)
Gemini
We know, we know, you’re not two faced, like some want to say. You have an outgoing and more subdued side. How are you able to deal with that while in quarantine? Since you’ve always been a gemini, why not go back in time to when you handled this as a teen? Video games, puzzles, songs, anything that reminds you of a time when you were stuck in the house and had to deal. You did it then, you’ll do it now!
Song: “It Takes Two” (Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock)
Aries
Bold and ambitious, quarantine is hampering your style. But who is stopping you from being who you want to be? Sure, there are some restrictions, and of course, abide by them, but then see what else is out there for you.
Song: “Dress You Up” (Madonna)
Cancer
You’re crabby and we don’t blame you! You’re independent but now having to be…dependent. Take it in stride. Ask if you need help. Don’t be stubborn. Let others help you. You’re such a giver, now is the time to receive.
Song: “Fight For Your Right” (Beastie Boys)
Taurus
You’re exhausted. You do it all, feel it all, take on it all. Work, family, the world. It’s all too much. You don’t want to let your guard down. But you should. You’re still a superstar even if you have to put your feet up.
Song: Any Enya. Really, you need to relax.
Leo
Basking in the spotlight has been tough when we’re all hiding away in our homes. Why not make yourself a mixtape? I said it right: make yourself a mixtape. Ok, maybe now it will be in another form than a cassette, but the combo of music will lift your spirits and searching for music and putting them together will be the fun you need right now. You might even make one for a friend. Need help with the technology? Reach out to a Sagittarius and they’ll show you the way.
Song: “Livin’ on a Prayer” (Bon Jovi) because that song should be one on your mixtapes.